Anxiety - Does your child suffer from it?

Anxiety is a form of stress. This can be experienced in many different ways — physically, emotionally, and in the way children/adults see the world around them.  Mostly anxiety can be worry about what might happen, things that could go wrong, feeling like you are in danger.

Anxiety is actually a natural human reaction and is an alarm system that activates whenever there is danger or threat!  its the fight or flight response - the rush of adrenaline.  The fight of flight response is an instant reaction to perceived danger, it takes the thinking part of your brain a few seconds more to evaluate whether it is 'real danger' or not and if you are not in real danger your body starts the calming down process.      Now when anxiety becomes an issue it starts to take over day to day life, your ability to do 'normal' tasks, like school, social situations....the list goes on.
So how would you know if you child has anxiety, here are a few of the possible symptoms?

• excessive worry most days of the week
• trouble sleeping at night or sleepiness during the day
• restlessness or fatigue during waking hours
• trouble focusing
• irritability

These issues effect a child’s ability to focus and can be seen normally in day to day life - school etc.

Now the issue is, children may not even be able to put a finger on their feelings and then even if they do, they may not want to tell you that they are worrying.  They could fear letting your down, or thinking they are 'babyish' girls tend to express their feelings easier than boys.    As I have said my son was diagnosed with anxiety very early on, he was a born communicator (started talking very early) but my first sign that he was suffering was that he stopped talking to me,  he completely shut down, became withdrawn.    This scared me more than anything!  How can my boy who talked to me about everything become so within! He was pale, stressed.....then the symptoms escalated.    At school if he didn't perform they would take him out of his class and shove him in another unfamiliar classroom.......which is the worst thing to do to any child, especially a sensitive child.   This caused a major anxiety attack and in total fear and frustration he scratched himself!......Que tears, it's a very hard subject to think about let along write about.

Now obviously we all suffer from anxiety from time to time, but when it starts to control a child's life normally there is an anxiety disorder (a health provider would be able to confirm if this is the case for your child)

• Phobias. These are intense fears of specific things or situations that are not inherently dangerous, such as heights, dogs, insects, flying, small spaces, germs phobias usually cause people to avoid the things they fear.
• Social phobia (social anxiety). This anxiety is triggered by social situations or speaking in front of others. 
• Panic attacks. These episodes of anxiety can occur for no apparent reason. During a panic attack, a child typically has sudden and intense physical symptoms that can include a pounding heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, numbness, or tingling feelings.
• PTSTD - Post traumatic stress  This type of anxiety disorder results from a traumatic past experience. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, fear, and avoidance of the traumatic event that caused the anxiety.
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder  Characterized by excessive, uncontrollable worry over events and activities and potential negative outcomes.
• Separation Anxiety Disorder - extreme anxiety concerning separation from home or major attachment figures that is beyond what would be expected for one's developmental level. 
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a condition that causes kids to have unwanted thoughts, feelings, and fears. These are called obsessions, and they can make kids feel anxious. To relieve the obsessions and anxiety, OCD leads kids to do behaviors called compulsions or rituals.

What are the next steps?
If any of the above relate then your child MAY suffer from an anxiety disorder.  Our child had a professional diagnosis, but that’s individual and there are many different ways to help your child navigate anxiety.    In the UK the NHS recommends a childline to discuss any issues Young Minds' free parent helpline on 0808 802 5544 *  I have never called it as I went a different root.

What can you do to help?

According to the Anxiety Association of America they list the following to help your child.
·         Pay attention to your child’s feelings.
·         Stay calm when your child becomes anxious about a situation or event.
·         Recognize and praise small accomplishments.
·         Don’t punish mistakes or lack of progress.
·         Be flexible, but try to maintain a normal routine.
·         Modify expectations during stressful periods.
·         Plan for transitions (For example, allow extra time in the morning if getting to school is difficult).
 
Personally for us we were recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is talking therapies that can help your child manage their anxiety by changing the way they think and behave.   Now we are currently undertaking this with a child psychologist, but I am also working at home to help our child create ways to navigate his anxiety and have really enjoyed THIS Book series,  which are work books using cognitive therapy (my child’s therapist is aware and supports us using these books).   

Overall with Anxiety and again I only talk from my personal experience is definitely not a one shoe fits all solution, but as with anything its looking at different tools to help your child navigate what is making him anxious, so that it’s not consuming him/her.   For us this is a work in progress, CBT is helping but it’s slow! Reading the books helps  and we have mini breakthroughs.   I always feel reminded of the Shrek movie “We are like onions with many layers” so I keep peeling back the layers and working towards helping my little warrior to navigate this crazy world.

Here I list some good websites to learn more about child anxiety.